world_of_homestuckfandomcom-20200214-history
Dani Malloy
Important Info + Blurb Your name is Dani Malloy. Your friends tend to call you Sizzle, on account of a certain… hobby. You’re half-troll, like a lot of unfortunate schmucks. You just recently requisitioned your laptop from your EX BOYFRIEND. From the looks of the logs he left, seems like he was having a GRAND OLD TIME. Even chatting up some Royalty. Gonna have to get a new laptop. Anyway. People call you Sizzle. You seem to have a never-ending supply of SPARKLERS and poppers and other such minor fireworks. Your mother hates it. Your father? Well… He hasn’t visited since you ACCIDENTALLY aimed a few dozen roman candles at his antique wooden SORD collection. Let’s just say your middle name is “DESTRUCTION”. You’re pretty sure Franz Ferdinand wrote a song about you, but it’s hard to make out any of his lyrics. Your mom has tried to raise you with the utmost care and consideration. You’ve had a lot of schooling… that you wasted in DETENTION. Yeah… What’s life without a little fun though? Really, your parents were such geeks, it only makes sense that you’re a PUNK ROCK REBEL. You play the DRUMS because it feels like you’re SMASHING something to pieces while creating “enjoyable” music. You used to play with that EX of yours, but according to these logs, it seems he made a band without you. Probably to impress that princess chick. HA. HAHAHAHAHAH. HA. As a half-troll, and a particularly misbehaved one at that, your mother submitted a request for a lusus. It was approved! Hilariously, you were sent something just as SCRAPPY as you are. Opossum-mom is GREAT. You both have the best relationship. You’re planning on running away as soon as you can replace this laptop and make sure your mother hasn’t found a way to trace you. You’ve decided to go SOUL SEARCHING after you read some shit book on ZEN BUDDHISM and just took the cool parts about traveling and finding yourself and none of the respect. QUESTION AUTHORITY. QUESTION EVERYTHING. NEVER BE SATISFIED! FIGHT TO THE DEATH! Opossum-mom’s been teaching you to sleep in trees so you can be a functional adult Opossum. Or something. You’re not sure, and eating out of dumpsters is kinda gross, but you’re so hardcore and sticking it to the blinded masses. Your handle is garbageGourmandise and you type in the Punk British Style, using the colour green and keeping your sentiments real for those who take the time to listen. Life Before Sbase I'm not good at writing autobiographies. You know, being raised by my mom was pretty rough. She’s too into her mystery novels and whatever, always asking me why this or why that. I get she was trying to get me to think critically, but cut me some slack! I was 7! I couldn’t think past what dinner was gonna be! And dad. Gee. What a freakin’ dweeb. All those fake/real SORDs. You should have seen his clothes sometimes. Or you can like, google him. Seriously. Look at that guy. Seriously. Don’t google my kid pics. So you know, I tried for a while, like any kid. Of course you wanna impress your parents. They’re like… your only constant contact. But after a while of constantly coming up short and just feeling like a general disappointment, I started asking “why not?” instead of “why?”. I didn’t even fall in with a bad crowd. I was the bad crowd. All on my own. That does attract the weaker of the rebels. I had a little crew. Some kid’s parent taught them to lock-pick. So they taught us. We were incredible! We got into lockers, rooms, anything, Just to see if we could. It got boring and practiced after a while though, so we moved from theft to destruction. That was MUCH more fun. Fires and baseball bats and chains and tape. Mom thought it would be a good idea to “remove me from the influence”. Shame it was me all along. I think she got the point when she came back to a marshmallow roast on the collected works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Boy did I have a sense of humor back in the day. “You want some mystery-mallows?” I asked her. HA. Look, the long and short of this is that I was never really a good kid. Contrary is my nature. Mom even wrote a request to get me a lusus. She thought I couldn’t handle myself. Then I got Opossumum. GOD WAS MOM PISSED. We started dumpster diving and just being out at night. I was supervised! What was her problem? Okay, you know what. I understand a little bit. I got a weird batch of fireworks one time and lost an eye. No big deal. I look like a badass now. I think I started trying to do the relationship thing around 14. Seeing what was out there. Not a lot of kids want a half-troll though. As they got older, my horizons got broadened. I realized gender wasn’t really an issue for me. I think that’s the troll side. Hormones, am I right? But I started realizing my relationships weren’t gonna last. I’m a phase for people. People date the bad kid for fun. For a challenge. For fun stories to tell later. To sound experienced. So everyone became casual for me. And it got boring. The thing I found was the best? Maybe even my favorite… was to start harassing them after. Warning their new crushes and such about their bad habits. That they could have liked someone like me. And don’t I look nice for doing them a favor? They get so pissed off. It’s GREAT. And frankly, I love it. I like seeing them get angry. It’s better than that gooshy gooey holding hands romance stuff. Never had a blackrom proper though. Kind of a shame. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an idiot. I know my way around the world. I’m streetsmart, first and foremost. But I do secretly like books. I like to read about religions and different ways of life. Like. Buddhism. Man, that really opened my eyes. You just gotta keep… questioning! Why? Why not? How? When? Where? Who? And you don’t get comfortable and you don’t get satisfied. I see it all around, you know? Everyone just being lazy after a certain point. They think they got everything figured out and that all they have to do is ride the wave until they die. That’s not how this works. I’m going to be a wake-up call. I’ll show them all. Oh right. Eddy. You’re gonna ask me about Eddy. Of ALL THE PEOPLE. Really? Yeah we dated. If you can call that dating. We did the band thing. I drank a bit. He thought it meant something. Everyone’s got a story like that. Probably. Anyway, I spent some time at his place and he just started using my laptop when I had to go out running an errand. Then he figured out what “casual” meant and he wouldn’t let me have my stuff back. It was cute for a little while. Then I found out he was using MY family name to charade parade around the internet. Rude. Look I’m not into bashing this kid THAT much. He’s just got growing to do with people that aren’t me. I got my laptop back. I shook him up with some Roman Candles. People get upset when you leave out details. I made sure nothing caught. I’m not a murderer. I’ve got a human side somewhere. Probably. Well that’s it. What else did you want to know? I’m running away and chasing a concept. You’re probably following some line to a fate someone decided for you. That’s not for me, man. Go be frustrated. I’m making my own way. Life During Sbase Acquaintances and Quadrants Acenia Leyers - Annoying. One of those pale things. Thinks being nice will probably get her ahead. Beau Demain - Who dat? Darmok Aggaro - Who dat? Doir Mavico - It's a guy but it's a girl. With wings. Eric Wightt - Died a senseless death via weeding. Erisio Etrors - Who dat? Fate Revult - Whiny bitch that can't think for herself. Commits suicide and then gets to come back. Bloody. Unforgivable. Jack Heston - Obsessed with falling and demanding that I give him things that I find. Kate Wightt - Useless mom to Fate. Also kind of a shitty time player. Hasn't made any effort to instruct new time players. Kolena Nuntak - Who dat? Lily Mavico - Another pale thing. This one makes no sense at all. Keeps changing her appearance. Has eyes? Doesn't have eyes. Make up your mind, you joining my club or not? Maenam Niadis - Who dat? Mahtah Rytoil - Who dat? Mari Howard - Who dat? Melnia Katarn - Sister. Kind of. She's gonna get hurt if she doesn't build some damn walls. Meouet Piraya - Some kind of manipulative betrayer that stole a space ship and told people to kill the robot fish. Sounds like a fun Tuesday. Merrow Niadis - Other useless fish that has yet to be fried. Another time player. We all suck. All of us. Miloko Zapote - Who dat? Nate Revult - Fate's dad. Excellent discipline. Capable of independent thought. Hardcore. Good with weapons. What's not to like? Rilset Leyers - Who dat? Rubi Demain - Who dat? Sami Heston - I like the horntaker. But this isn't the horntaker. Damn shame. Walks like she could fill those dishy pants though. Does not meet expectation. 1/10, would not fuck. Seriad Rytoil - Nice troll. Good at healing. Good for idle chitchat. Kinda wish I had more to say to her but like. Really. "Oh man, just boned so and so." "Oh, that's nice I guess." Yeah I don't know if I have a lot to even talk to her about? Sorser Piraya - Brother. Kind of. Respectable wit. Stupid outlook. Huge ego. The Hindenburg is smaller than this man's ego, but I hope it will go out in the same lovely explosion. Tethys Nagisa - Cripple Club. Escalated through the ranks quickly. Can you believe I was the only one coming into this daft base already missing something? Guess it was so badarse people started copying. I can find no other excuse for the amount of senseless carnage. Thiago Tezeti - Dead? Dead. Yeah mostly. Fishstick. If it doesn't stay dead, I have holy cleansing motherfucking fire. Stay dead please. Vyllen Ectrix - No really, who the fuck is this. ♥''' - no crushes '''♦ - no crushes ♣''' - no crushes '''♠ - no crushes Gossip Acquired of Characters not yet met You all suck. OOC Contact Info ooc Pesterchum Handle: yarnWitch Other Characters: Meouet Piraya | Acenia Leyers phone: available, please ask! Tumblr: http://fibretrolls.tumblr.com Arty Things Available Chatlogs